Online communication has become increasingly common in the workplace and daily life. Although online channels provide convenience, they also bring a risk of ghosting, when one person unexpectedly stops responding to another without explanation. Across four studies (total N = 2,169) that use different paradigms to study ghosting (recalling real ghosting experiences, imagining ghosting in scenario surveys, and induced ghosting in a live interaction), the current paper finds that ghostees (i.e., those who do not receive a response) consistently underestimate how badly ghosters (i.e., those who stop responding) feel about ghosting them. This underestimation is larger when the ghosting is unintentional, and mitigated when potential ghosters do not perceive their actions as ghosting or send a minimal response (e.g., “sorry, can’t talk”) instead of ghosting. Overall, this research provides a window into the often-overlooked pain of not just being ghosted but of ghosting others. Understanding the psychology and consequences of ghosting can help people strategize digital communication and improve well-being and relationships in both social and work contexts.
